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Dysfunctional Love in The Namesake Essay

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The novel The Namesake follows the life of Ashima and Ashoke Ganguli's immigration experience, moving from India to America. Once in America, they start a family with their first born son, Gogol. They could have never guessed, however, that giving him that name would be the cause of a major identity crisis. Being American born compared to his very traditional parents, added to his distress. Throughout his life all this inner turmoil conflicted with his personal life and especially with his ideas of love. Unless Gogol could overcome his personal problems, he would be unable to truly love.

The marriage of Ashima and Ashoke is arranged by their families. The most intimate moment they share before their wedding is when Ashima briefly and secretly steps into Ashokes shoes. In American culture, people are given a chance to fall in love before marriage. As for Ashima and Ashoke, they had to fall in love over the course of their lives. Gogol feels that "their love exists between them in an utterly private, uncelebrated way"(138). When Gogol notices people openly showing their affection, it reminds him that his parents have never done this. Growing up in an environment where love was so void hindered his future experiences with love.

During college, Gogol was deeply attached to a young girl named Ruth. He goes through this relationship as Nikhil, never revealing his inner struggle between his identities. During her time with Gogol, Ruth decides to spend both spring and summer terms in England studying literature. As Lahiri writes "He is lost that spring without her"(117). For the first time in his life he thinks that he's in love, but shortly after Ruth's return they begin fighting and decide it is best that they stop seeing each other. Regrettably, Gogol's first chance at love did not get the opportunity to become anything more than that.

Gogol's first "real" love was a young American girl named Maxine, a member of a very wealthy Manhattan family. When Gogol starts seeing Maxine, he falls in love with not only her, but her family and the life they live as well. They are everything he did not grow up with, and "their lives bear no resemblance to [his parents]"(138). He met her at a party and fell for her confident and flirtatious attitude, which differed greatly from the ways of traditional Indian courtship. Upon the death of his father, Gogol began to fall back into his culture and eventually detaches himself from Maxine. This personal struggle from his fathers death ruined any further chance at a loving relationship with Maxine.

The relationship with Maxine was an escape from what Gogol knew. Being with her allowed him to "move was far away from his parents world"(Mandira Sen 3) as he could. The total difference in lifestyle is what he fell in love with. If it wasn't for his uncertainty between his two identities, Maxine would have been his best bet for love and happiness. Unfortunately when Gogol loses his father he loses Maxine as well.

Gogols emotional complications from his father's death was a platform for him to meet his future wife Moushumi. Ashima talks Gogol into starting a relationship with Moushumi, particularly due to their shared culture and background. The relationship they share stems from them wanting to please their parents. As Song writes "he finds himself making a choice that is not a choice, but a fulfillment of an expectation"(Song Min Hyoung 8). Granted they shared a physical attraction to one another, it was also beneficial because it made their families happy. But inevitably they separate when Moushumi has an affair with her former lover. When Gogol found out, he seemed more betrayed than emotionally hurt, which suggests he was never fully in love with Moushumi.

Love is a hard thing to grasp, especially when each partner's culture is different. Gogol has had many chances at love. Unfortunately, his mixed culture along with the identity problems he faces has made his experiences with love inferior to that of what he had hoped for. He was unable to overcome his personal issues, thereby preventing himself from truly experiencing a meaningful and loving relationship.

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