Yelling at a Brick Wall
The language between a mother and a daughter can create a huge brick wall in their relationship because they have different views on life, and how they should handle it. In the book The Joy Luck Club, by Amy Tan, a story is told of An-Mei Hus and her daughter Rose Hsu Jordan, who is going though a divorce. An- Mei wants her daughter, Rose, to try and save her marriage. But Rose knows its pointless to try and upon that she decides to learn to stick up for her self, get a lawyer, and fight her soon to be ex-husband for the house. The relationship between An-Mei Hsu and Rose Hsu Jordan shows that language is a brick wall, because they dont understand why wants what they want. Rose doesnt care to save her marriage; she only wants to get the house. When her mother, An-Mei, wants Rose to fight to save her marriage, because its the Chinese way, and how the only way to keep her honor among her family.
An-Mei Hsu was born and raised in China, but not by her mother. Her mother became the concubine of another man when An-Meis father had died. So An-Mei and her little brother went to live with there grandmother who they called Popo. At the house in which they lived they were not aloud to talk about, or even speak of there mother and soon enough, An-Mei and her little brother had forgotten her altogether. But Popo becomes very sick, and An-Meis mother returns to the home. When she was there she cuts a piece of her arm off and puts it in to soup for Popo. This was to show great respect, and was also a way of trying to cure the sick. Here is how I came to love me mother. How I saw my own true nature. What was beneath my skin. Inside my bones. (pg40) This is the point where An-Mei is thought about respect and honor. She saw what her mother had done for Popo, and found it in her heart to forgive her and love her again. From then on she wanted to make sure that her daughters would have honor, and respect for the family ways. The pain you must forget, because sometimes that is the only way to remember what is in your bones. (pg41) She saw what her mother take a piece of her own flesh and give it to Popo in order to earn her respect and honor back. She could tell how much her mother missed the family and her, and found a way to forget about the past, and love her again. An-Mei had a very rough childhood, but from it she learned that know matter what comes up in life, you still have to find a way to keep your honor and respect of the family.
Rose Hsu Jordan has completely different views on life and how things should be approached, than her mother does. Rose was raised in a completely different environment as well. She was born and raised in The Untied States of America. So there for she has been Americanized in a way that she doesnt care to follow the same customs as her mothers culture. This is not hope, not reason. This is your fate. This is your life, what you must do. (pg134) An-Mei would tell rose when rose broke the news that she her marriage would soon no longer exists. But in a way Rose saw her mother as a hypocrite. She thought this because she has was there when her mother had lost all faith and hope in god and religion. When rose was younger, she and her family took a trip down to the beach, and her being the oldest she was put in charge of watching her little brother, Bing. Bing had walked off down along a reef when her other two brothers started a fight, and Rose went to break it up. But in the second Bing had fallen into the deep ocean and disappeared with out a trace. Rose, her family and coast authorities searched the water for hours but never found a trace of him. The next morning Rose and her mother had driven down to the beach again to look for Bing, but when he never showed up, An-Mei lost all hope. She gave up then knowing he was gone forever, and gave up on her religion to because it didnt bring Bing back. So there was a time when Rose realized that you cant always hope for something to get better, that you just have to deal with what is in front of you, and try to come out of it strong. That is just one of the many America concepts that Rose was exposed to growing up in the Sates that her mother, in her childhood, would never here of. Life to Rose wasnt about keeping your honor; it was about keeping yourself strong and doing what it takes to make you happy.
An-Mei and Rose, even though they are mother and daughter, were always just yelling at a brick wall, when they would talk t each other. Its simple because An-Mei was raised that you must keep your honor, and respect for the family above anything else. And she believed that because she grew up in China where that was the custom. But Rose was born American. Where in this country she saw that you had to fight for what you wanted to make you happy and not others. So Rose did that. She called her soon to be ex-husband, Ted, to come pick up his un-signed divorce papers. And then proceeded to announce to him that she was keeping the house. In the end An-Mei is not happy that Rose is letting her marriage go like this, but is able to find comfort that she is standing up for her self. The story ends by diving back in to An-Meis childhood in China. It just reflects back on when An-Meis mother kills herself because the man she was married to was married to another women who would not let An-Mei get anything she was promised from her husband. Rose and An-Mei were raised in two different worlds. There for making conversation between them, like trying to speak though a brick wall.
The Relationship between An-Mei and her daughter, Rose, shows that language is a brick wall because they dont see eye to eye on anything. They both have different values in life, there for will try to achieve completely different solutions to the same problem. An-Mei will find a way to keep her honor and her respect. When Rose will make her self happy, and fight for what she wants. Not for what is honorable. There is too big of a generation gap between the two, making problem solving a brick wall.