Analysis of Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been? Essay

Growing up is often a drawn out process. Although in some cases blossoming into a knowledgeable and self sufficient person may only take on experience, maybe even a sentence or a glace of something different and your whole life and perspective will adjust.

The short story Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been? by Joyce Carol Oates demonstrates the struggle of life and the decisions people are faced with everyday. We learn early in the story that Connie does not appreciate, nor does Connie like, or have any kind of relationship with her mother, father, or sister. Her parents and sister were going to a barbecue at an aunts house and Connie said no, she wasnt interested, rolling her eyes to let her mother know just what she thought of it. Connie obviously puts a wall between her and her family. She does this so she doesnt have a conscious. So when she comes home after her nightly rendezvous she doesnt have to feel guilty because she simply tells herself she doesnt care what they think. They are all losers and will never be as good as her. Connie rightfully believes her mother is jealous of her. Her mother, who noticed everything and knew everything and who hadnt much reason any longer to look at her own face, always scolded Connie about it Stop gawking at yourself. Who are you? You think youre so pretty? she would say. Connies mother certainly does not help the relationship by acting jealous of her daughter, she is simply adding fuel to the fire. Connie had somewhat of a split personality. Connie at home was very different from Connie everywhere else. Everything about her had two sides to it, one for home and one for anywhere that was not home: her walk, which could be childlike and bobbing, or languid enough to make anyone think she was hearing music in her head; her mouth, which was pale and smirking most of the time, but bright and pink on these evenings out She was living a life that was not hers. Somewhere along the way of switching from one person to another she lost herself. Connie is trying to grow up way to fast, and is pushing her family farther away everyday. She is trying to fly away and she doesnt even have wings yet. Her family isnt trying to pull her back in, so eventually Connie is going to be so far ahead of herself she isnt going to know what to do.

Little did Connie know that her decision to not go with her family may

have been the worst choice she could have made that day. It was the beginning of the end for Connie, and Connies adolescent actions. Before Connie received an abrupt and unexplained visit, Connie was showing us just how premature and vain she really was. Connie sat with her eyes closed in the sun, dreaming and dazed with the warmth about her as if this were a kind of love, the caresses of love, and her mind slipped over onto thoughts of the boy she had been with the night before and how nice he had been, how sweet it always was, not the way someone like June would suppose but sweet, gentle, the way it was in movies and promised in songs; and when she opened her eyes she hardly knew where she was, the back yard ran off into weeds and a fence-like line of trees and behind it the sky was perfectly blue and still. Connie lives far from reality but this Sunday she was in for a rude awakening. When Arnold Friend and his companion arrived Connie was still living in a dream world as if she were invincible and her beauty and maturity would shield her from all danger. Friend, at first, seemed to be friendly and a decent person, but at the same time he seemed very mysterious and shady. Connie made a great decision by not getting in the car with him and his friend but she continued to lead him on, instead of just drawing the line and laying down the truth of her intentions. Connie smirked and let her hair fall loose over one shoulder. Connie absolutely is living her life as a daydream. She doesnt think there will be any consequences to her actions and shows this time and time again throughout the story. She is doing this because she is afraid to fail someone or to let them down she wants so much to be accepted and appreciated that she makes herself into someone she thinks everyone wants her to be, almost like Arnold Friend. Arnold Friend tried to talk like people around Connies age talked; he attempted to walk and dress like this age group as well. In a bizarre way Arnold friend and Connie have a lot in common. her laugh, which was cynical and drawling at home-ha, ha, very funny- but high pitched and nervous anywhere else. The way he straightened and recovered from his fit of laughing showed that it had been all fake.

As the conversation went on between Friend and Connie, Connie began to catch on to things that just didnt seem right. She still stuck around though and didnt take any action to get away from Friend or to get help. Connie continued to lead Friend on by not turning away, even though she was frightened. Connie did this because she was afraid of looking like a fool if she wasnt right. If she had just misunderstood friend and got the wrong impression of him, and she made a scene out of it she knew she would look stupid. So instead of keeping herself safe she put her appearance in front her safety, once again. Connie slowly reeled herself back into reality the more and more she was uncovering while talking to Arnold Friend. Connie stared at him, another wave of dizziness and fear rising in her so that for a moment he wasnt even in focus but was just a blur standing there against his gold car, and she had the idea that he had driven up the driveway all right but had come from nowhere before that and belonged nowhere and that everything about him and even about the music that was so familiar to her was only half real. Connie knew nothing good could come out of this situation. Connie was no longer in control. Friend had invaded Connies life and reality was hitting Connie. Arnold Friends voice began to brainwash Connie. Now, turn this way. Thats right. Come over here to me.-Ellie, put that away, didnt I tell you? You dope. You miserable creepy dope, Arnold Friend said. His words were not angry but only part of an incantation. The incantation was kindly. Now come through the kitchen to me, honey, and lets see a smile, try it, youre a brave, sweet little girl and now theyre eating corn and hot dogs cooked to bursting over an outdoor fire, and they dont know one thing about you and never did and honey, youre better than them because not a one of them would have done this for you. Although it did appear to be that Connie was being brainwashed, really she was accepting that she had to make a choice. Connie realized that she was in great danger. And when her family came home they would also be in danger. She put out her hand against the screen. She watched herself push the door slowly open as if she were back safe somewhere in the other doorway, watching this body and this head of long hair moving out into the sunlight where Arnold Friend waited. As Connie walked through that door, her true self came out and it was then that she went from child to adult. Arnold Friend let go of the post tentatively and opened his arms for her, his elbows pointing in toward each other and his wrists limp, to show that this was an embarrassed embrace and a little mockiing, he didnt want to make her self-conscious Friends welcoming arms showed us that Connie was going to a new place she had never been before. That place was a place where she didnt need her appearance any longer, she didnt need tons of friends, makeup, clothes or a mirror. What she needed was her family to save her, but she had pushed her family away She made a sacrifice to save her family, who all this time she had pretended to hate. All her vain thoughts and remarks vanished. Her daydreams about unrealistic and childish things were gone.

Joyce Carol Oates a lesson to those who choose to appreciate only themselves and not the ones who surround you with love. Dont besiege yourself with people who do not have your best interest in mind. Connie has showed us exactly where that gets you. Live life by being yourself not what you think other people want you to be.